"Getting There"

I arrived back in Leeds with the whole Jaime/Rory situation weighing heavily on my mind. Luckily, my friend Glynn was on hand to give me an ultimatum I actually wanted to hear.

“Look Noah. You can do two things. Sit in, sulk, and maybe even cry you pussy. Or you come and get drunk with me and Noah2.”

“What time do you want me to meet you?” was my answer. In theory this seemed like the perfect plan. Getting drunk with a few of the guys at Noah2’s house, beers, movies, PS3 – what could possibly go wrong?

A bottle of red later (wine, not any sort of poisonous substance), I staggered along the road to meet Glynn, who had bought with him a crate of 24 bottles of beer. “Heavy night or what?” I asked him.

“You know it.”

After watching ‘Run, Fat boy, Run’, Pro Evo on the PS and the 24 bottles of beer divided between the three of us, we decided to venture out onto a local indie night. Some familiar faces with even less familiar music. I staggered around the dance floor, clutching to a pint of beer as if my life depended on it. I’ve always been told that I never do know when to stop, and it’s true. I just don’t seem to have that mind set of “OK Noah, it’s time to stop.” And I’ve always told myself it will come back to haunt me. While I lost my friends, I entered into a texting conversation with Jaime. Cue the ‘stupid...’ comments.

N: Are you happy? (Referring to her earlier Facebook status.)
J: I really am.
N: Well, that’s all I needed to know.
J: Noah?
N: Look you’re happy, you’ve moved on. Can we just leave it? Like not speak.
J: Just leave it? You texted me! Look, you had your chance but you didn’t step up.
N: I didn’t step up? How many times have I stepped up in the past only to have people come in and shit all over it...you being one of them.
J: Why are you texting me now? Because I am actually happy?
N: Can we honestly just leave it. You’ve moved on. I deserve to also. I just hope you’re happy.

I left the club with Glynn, and we were just silent, but like it is with friends, it wasn’t awkward. And like me, the walk home made the city seem at peace too.

“After I’d sent that final text I honestly felt like a release, I stood taller, I looked at things different,” I told my flatmate A, “and it sounds corny, I do know that, but I just feel so good about it.”

“So you should Noah. If anyone deserves it, it’s you...you’re a nice guy.”

“If she’s happy, and she’s moved on, then why can’t I?” This line was almost becoming a mantra to me. Positive energy breeds positive effects.

Several days passed, and it seemed as if Jaime got what I was saying. Maybe she had begun to understand how I was feeling. My Blackberry buzzed. Hayley. Jaime must have told her.

After a lengthy recap of the situation I continued, “What I need is for her to not be in my life until I’m over her. That’s the only way I can get down to the heart of the matter, so to speak, and get over her.” I told Hayley on the phone.

“Yeah, but Noah you did have your chance...”

Before she could reply with anything else I cut her off, “And she had her chance. And she didn’t take it. And now we are where we are. She’s happy and I am...getting there.” Hayley “a-ha’d”, and I made excuses and took a shower.

That night, as the water splashed on my body, I felt it was almost cleansing me of whatever love feelings I had for Jaime and I was getting there...I was getting there.