"Boys Will Be Boys"

For the first time in an extremely long time I can honestly say I have no romantic interests in my life. During lunch with Haley (my treat), in which she was relaying the tales of her love life to me, she asked, “So Noah, any girls in your life? Ella? Lara? Faye?”

“Actually, no, there isn’t. Wow.” I paused. “For the first time in a long time I can say I don’t have a girl in my life.” I couldn’t tell whether that was a moment of pride, or horror. “So...this is what playing the field feels like. It feels good.”

That night Glynn, Noah2, and several others had a ‘Guys Night Out’. Around 8ish I headed to Glyn’s flat and drinking games ensued. Looking back, it was a silly idea. I was drunk before I knew it, as was Glyn et al.

Drinking games finished and we headed down to the taxi that took us to Oceana. We jumped the line thanks to my marvellous blagging skills and in we were. We spent a few hours in there, being rowdy like guys are, and after a discussion on the smoking terrace (damn Noah2 being a smoker) the decision was made to head to a strip club.

A city like Leeds is home to a few strip clubs, and we ended up in Blue Coyote. Too much money spent (and several private dances) later, the sun was rising and Glyn, Shaun and I got a taxi home. After a lengthy sleep, my Blackberry buzzing woke me up.

“Noah. Bar Risa for Noah2’s birthday tonight. Be at mine for 8.30ish.” Damn you, Glynn, I was sleeping.

That night turned out to be a drunken flashbacks of bouncing round with Proudy, scoring free hot dogs, eating subway, wrestling with Glynn in the VIP section of Halo, while attempting to dance to ‘Piece of Me’ by Britney Spears. And then my memory keeps slightly less hazy when we get to Red Leopard. Another strip club, but hey, boys will be boys.

The girls were doing their rounds when one spotted my eye. She looked very familiar, but still hot, well, as hot as strippers can in their underwear at 4 in the morning. She made her way over, and offered me a dance. I took her up on her offer and away we went.

While sorting the finance out, she made small talk.

“I feel like I’ve seen you before. You look really familiar.”

“I was thinking that about you.” I replied.

“I mean, it’s not often we get good looking guys like you in here.”

Oh yeah? I bet she says that to everyone, I thought to myself.

In the middle of the dance, she leaned towards me and whispered to me, “If you see me around, you’re not allowed to tell anyone.”

What? There she was with her lady bits in my face asking me to respect her privacy? Ok then.

So, after the lengthy, and very expensive, nights out, this past week I’ve been curbing my appetite for partying to do laundry and catch up with TV. Also, I’m giving my poor liver a rest, because, you know, you only get one liver.