"Validating a Relationship."

Thursday night at the Italian restaurant Fuime on the riverside, Skye, Madeline and I met up for a “triple date” as Madeline would later refer to it at the table. Skye had come up with the idea of us all getting together and going for a meal. It started out with the idea that Skye, Madeline, Jason and I would reacquaint our selves with each other over an Italian dish and an alcohol beverage, but, as they do, plans changed. It was finalised with a table booked for six: me, Aidan, Skye, Madeline, and Adam…and Ella. It was the first time Ella was going to meet my closest friends and their partners.

“So I'm going out for a meal tonight with Skye, Madeline and their boyfriends, and I want to know if you want to come.” I asked her.

We’d spent the morning fish hunting. I’d bought her a novelty fish tank for Christmas, as well as going for the safe option of perfume (Dolce and Gabbana’s THE ONE) after being asked on many occasions what I would be buying her, to which I had no idea. In return she’d bought me a mug from Starbucks and a grey cardigan, which were apparently in fashion this season.

When she first asked me to go fish hunting, it had been three days since New Years Eve. We hadn’t spoken. I’d spent that time sleeping, eating, and attempting essays, where she had spent it…well, I'm not exactly sure how she’d spent it.

“So Noah, what are you doing tomorrow? You want to go fish hunting?”

I had a thought: Was this a new form of committing in a relationship? Hunting for a pet fish? Would we be fighting for custody of this fish if our relationship ever failed?

“Um..sure. How about I be at yours for 10.30, just I have a driving lesson in the afternoon.”

10.30 that morning I stepped off the bus, and realised I had only ever been to Ella’s house drunk, and in my friend Aspen’s car, in the dark. I had no idea where I was going. After numerous failed phone call attempts and text messages, I rang her, on what I decided would be the last time.

“Hello…?” She said, sheepishly.

“Ella! It’s Noah! You’ve been asleep haven’t you?”

“Oh my God! I'm so sorry. Oh my God. What time is it?” She replied, surprised to know I’d caught her out.

“10.55 in the morning! You do know I need to be home by 12.30 because of my driving lesson. And I don’t even know where you’re house is!” I was so angry with her, again.

After directions, which I managed to follow and find her house, we set of for a twenty-minute walk to find a fish.

“How about this one?” I asked her. “It’s small, it’ll fit in the tank. Perfect.”

“I don’t know. You choose.” She responded.

“Well, if it’s like that. I like the classic gold look. They’re pretty cheap too. I think you should get two.”

“No Noah!” She said, with a broad smile and giggling. “They won’t both fit.”

“Sure they will. Take a chance. Live a little. So they’re a little cramped. Just like two people sharing a bedroom.”

By the time I’d committed to our relationship by choosing the fish, I’d forgotten New Years Eve and all the trouble that morning. It was like she had this sort of effect on me in which she went back in time and erased our past problems.

“So what do you say? To this meal?” I continued after initially asking her.

“Yeah sure. Only if you really want me to come mind.” She didn’t sound sure.

“No, of course I want you to come. Skye and Madeline can’t wait to meet you.” I lied. Again. Sure Skye was. Madeline, I wasn’t so sure. She’d said on the previous Friday that she was jealous, but not “because I like you like that, but just because you have a girlfriend.” Yes, she was drunk at the time.

That evening I rang Skye and informed her of the news that Ella would be joining us.

“Oh great, can’t wait to meet her. We’ll come and pick you up. Are you just meeting her?” This was followed by talk of dress code for the evening and some slight bitching about Jason.

The meal went without any hitches. Except talk of sex, in which I think Ella felt slightly uncomfortable, and of course she would when Madeline asked me what anal was like, I had to respond to let her know she was joking.

When leaving, after Skye and Aidan left in their car, Ella and Madeline ran to the toilet together. I could only wonder what they were talking about.

“Maybe they’re touching each other,” Adam said, breaking our silence as we sat in his car.

“We can only hope,” I responded with a smirk. “So, nice car.” Trying not to make any awkward situation in which we would both sit in silence hoping that they’d both come from the toilet as quickly as possible, I made ‘masculine talk’ which involved talk about sport, women and cars. This time, it was only cars.

“Thanks.” An awkward situation was avoided by the return of Ella and Madeline.
We took Ella home, making small talk as you typically do on first dates, except in this situation is was a first “triple date”, with me kissing her as she got out of the car.

“Aren’t you going to kiss her goodnight?” Madeline asked.

“I already have Madeline.” Did she think that I was a naïve boyfriend who didn’t know the correct relationship etiquette?

As soon as she slammed the door shut, and we drove out of her street, I started with all of the regular post-meeting questions: “So, what do you think?” “Do you like her?” “Isn’t she beautiful?” “Do you honestly like her?”

Madeline answered with “Yeah, I like her. She’s nice. A bit tall though. It intimidates me.” I laughed.

“Do you know what I mean when I say she’s a little bit young?” It was like I was trying to find reasons for them not to like her.

“Yeah, but I mean she is younger than you so that is to be expected.”

“I guess so. But she’s just a bit clingy. It’s a little overbearing.”

I told them the story of my New Years Eve hell, which I’d forever think of as the night I lost my head over a girl.

“Noah, that sometimes happens with girls though, they can’t help it.” Surprisingly this didn’t come from Adam, but Madeline.

“Yeah, it’s true. It does happen with girls.” Adam chipped in. I guess it was good to get advice, that wasn’t necessarily advice, but more of an approval that this was normal.

“But, I think the best thing about a relationship is being able to walk away from it, and there’s been more than one occasion where she hasn’t been able to do that.”

“I see what you mean,” Madeline responded.

Was I right? Was walking away the best thing about a relationship? Isn’t it that that keeps it fresh? And isn’t it the being able to return that makes it better when you seem them after a period of not being able to? Or did I have it all wrong? Was it the more time you spent together, the more together you were as a couple, and the more validated your relationship was? Was that what it was all about? The validation? I could only wonder as I climbed from Adam’s car and walked down my driveway. What was the best thing about us?