Sunday, January 21, 2007

"Magnets"

Some cultures have said that opposites attract. Some physicians said this too, and they were right, with the magnets anyway. But, can a relationship stand the true test of time if these two opposites don’t seem to attract?

Many times Ella and I have gotten into minor debates slash arguments over our differences in opinions. Whilst sitting in the corner of the basement in Starbucks, my good friend Ashley phoned me. After I hung up, I went on to tell Ella all about Ashley, one of the people I'm closest too. How we would check out girls together wherever we went, and how we’d only met in March of 2006 and remained close ever since.

“So she’s a lesbian?”

“Yup.” I took a sip from my hot chocolate, waiting for her reaction.

“I just don’t get how people can do that. Like, you know, I don’t have a problem with it, but I don’t understand. It’s just not right. Women weren’t meant to have sex with women.”

“Are you really saying that?”

“Yeah. I just don’t get it.”

I ended the conversation there and asked her about something else. As we left we saw a homeless lady.

“I always feel bad when I see her.” I’d seen her more than once.

“Well, it’s her fault to be fair.”

“Wait. What?”

“She didn’t have to be homeless.”

“Yeah, but, Ella, we don’t know what circumstances under which she became homeless. It’s not as if one day she got sick of her house and thought the street would be better.”

“Well, I'm just saying she could have done something to not be homeless.”

Later at the newly opened mixed-genre music club Confusion, I had a moment of clarity. I told Kayla that this was “the perfect example of her immitude.”

“You’re right. Like, why would she just judge people automatically?”

“Because she’s young that’s why.” It really was that simple.

“I bet she hasn’t even met anyone gay and that’s why maybe she doesn’t have an unbiased opinion on it.”

“You’re probably not wrong,” I said, sinking another vodka and coke.

A couple of nights later, after I’d decided to throw myself into my work, I received an instant message from Ella. My plan of studying, studying, studying was out the window.

“Noah, you know how I feel about gays, well, I was at the train station and these butch lesbians walked past, like seriously, really butch and manly. And well, they were like holding hands and kissing and stuff. I thought I was going to be sick in my mouth and had to turn away! Well, anyway, I'm sure they were doing it more just to gross me out!”

“Hi by the way.” I replied. “They did it just to gross you out, I'm sure that’s the reason why. Who cares, as long as they’re happy?”

“Yeah, if they’re happy, but you know…” She continued.

“Well, it’s not as if we’re exactly sin free ourselves.” Then I remembered the line from the musical Rent that seemed to define this whole situation: ‘Let he among us without sin be the first to condemn.’ And it was true. How can she condemn anyone when she is sinning herself by being prejudiced against someone and condemning them for their choices? It’s like one, big, vicious circle.

I had a thought: were Ella and I slowing becoming the same poles on different magnets, rather than different poles on the same magnet, that no longer attract? It was certainly an interesting thought.

The next day I sat talking to Hayley and Brooke Carmientti, over a Psychology textbook I was meant to be studying with.

I told them about all of the differences and how we are complete opposites in everything: politics, homophobia, attitudes, fashion sense, music sense.

“Well there has to be something,” the ever-positive Hayley said. “You both like each others, that’s something.”

“We do?” I said with a raised eyebrow and sarcastic tone, followed by the cheeky grin that is almost my trademark.

“There’s got to be other stuff Noah,” Brooke added.

“I really don’t think there is.”

Was this it? Had this magnet broken? Were the people saying “opposites attract” only saying it to give others hope that there is someone out there for them? Maybe they said it to reassure themselves that there was someone out there for them too. Then I had a thought: love always trumps physics.

3 comments:

Suzy Hepworth said...

I have to say throughout your fully articulate blog that you have never really sounded positive of Ella - it sounds like you actually don't like her - maybe you just don't fit.

Great blog though! Suze x

romanticallycynical.blogspot.com

Mysterious MK said...

love doesnt trump everything. i think love can only work if the things you are willing to compromise on dont take away from who you are. you are obviously highly tolerant, if not embracing, of peoples choices and also compassionate. she doesnt seem to be either. it may be because she has not experienced anything to make her more aware, but it also just may be who she is, forever. no matter how much you care for her, can you be with someone so judgemental without compromising who you are???? just my take on things....

Pissed OFF Housewife said...

No love without respect.

Hottie Hubby and I agree on almost nothing politically BUT we adore each other's thought processes.

You've portrayed her as being thoughtless. It will be draining for someone as articulate as you to dither away your days with someone who isn't a thinker.

Ask her if the lesbian kissing would have been offensive if they were "pretty". I'd really LOVE to have you relay that conversation.