"Too Lost In You"

After several days of waiting for THAT text from Jaime, and still without THAT text from Jaime, I decided to join Haley and Brooke Carmientti, along with Brooke’s boyfriend and an old friend Tanya in Sunderland to see them all before heading back down south, or at least what I considered down south, to Leeds. Haley would be joining me in Leeds, but we still had good nights out together.

Innfusion was our first stop of the night and with it was semi-busy. There were a few familiar faces, and a lot more not familiar faces, but the trebles were cheap so I was game. Dancing on the table with Brooke ensued as the trebles disappeared and before I knew it we were off to The Black Bull for cheap drinks and dance music.

“Tanya! Let’s get a fish bowl!” I shouted to her over the beats of DJ Alex.

“Sex on the beach, Noah!” I received the message loud and clear.

Several days later I met Haley in town and we went for Starbucks, and even with the copious amounts of alcohol probably still in my system, I was still on my health kick.

“Grande Citron Tea please. To sit in.”

So, over my Citron Tea and her English Breakfast Tea, we discussed that night’s events.

“That fishbowl? Tanya didn’t even drink it. I had like three quarters of it and was absolutely fucked. I cannot even remember getting to Liquid, nor do I know why they actually let me in.”

“Well we saw you in there, and then you went missing.”

“I remember getting another drink in there. Then I lost everybody so I went outside to phone people.”

“Ohhh, ok.”

“Yeah. Then I remember ringing Jaime.”

Haley raised an eyebrow. “Really Noah? Drunk dialling? It’s never a good idea.”

“Well you can say that because you don’t drink. Anyway, I really don’t even remember what we spoke about. Apparently though, she was laughing at me, because I kept saying ‘intense’ and ‘no way man’.” I didn’t say this to Haley, because she and Jaime are quite close, but even though I don’t remember what we spoke about, I just remember it feeling so good to hear her voice again. I had to ask: what did this mean? There were so many questions running through my head about Jaime. It all felt so familiar. When was I going to admit that I loved her?

“You won’t believe who’s calling me right now.” She said, sipping her tea.

“Are you kidding me?” I said, in shock.

“Hi Jaime. How are you? Yeah I can talk. I’m just in Starbucks...with Noah.” There was a pause. “Ok ring me tonight. Bye. Yeah, she couldn’t talk once she knew you were here. So I wonder what it’s about.” She said, smirking and raising her eyebrow.

“Oh, be quiet.”

“So where exactly did you go after you left Liquid then?” Haley asked.

“I was lost...in the city...on my own. Can you believe that? Sunderland is hardly the safest place to be lost at night in. Even with the police presence, it’s still pretty scary. But I was gone. I don’t remember a thing. Oh wait, I remember climbing into a taxi, and thinking I was going to be sick. And the taxi driver pulled over and started shouting at me...something about an Indian wedding in the morning and I couldn’t possibly be sick in his cab.” There was a comfortable moment of silence as I scanned the room, like I usually do. “You know what?”

“What Noah?” Hayley replied, in the way that she always does. Almost as if she’s sick of me, even though I know she isn’t.

“In some crazy philosophical world, me being lost on Thursday night would be some great metaphor of me being lost in love with Jaime. Like, her love is confusing and I need to find it to get on.”

“Yeah, that’s flipping crazy alright. You sure you’re not just over thinking it?” Hayley always thought I was over thinking things, such as the wink at the end of a text message, or a certain glance someone may give me.

I left Hayley, telling her that I was going to miss my bus. Instead, I wandered down to the Quayside in Newcastle. It was one of the few sights of home that I missed. It was where Jaime and I had gone on our first date. It’s a place Madeline and I always visit during our catch up sessions. It is where I took Elle after we’d broken up. We spent the full day together after we officially ended, and it was nice. I looked around, and even in the chilly air or January, it hadn’t changed. The views. The people. It was exactly how I remembered. Then I had the urge to talk to Jaime. It was a shame I got the feeling she didn’t want to talk to me.